Thursday, September 8, 2016

"Just" a mom...

"Mom, what are you?" my 10 year old asked. "I'm your mom." i answered. "No. I mean WHAT are you? What do you do?" she says. You see, she is in a new school. They have a "college and career" class. She wanted to know my "job title" apparently. So i thought for a minute and told her that I have a certificate as a nurse assistant, i also had a certificate in Medical coding and Billing, however I have not worked as either in several years. So, my final answer is I am a mom. She looks at me puzzled and says "great... Guess I'll just write my mom is just a mom". She then lost interest in the conversation and went back to watching a show on her phone.

Ironically enough, last night in our small group at church, the topic was Identity or Spiritual Identity.

And it got me thinking about something that crosses my mind every now and then, "what am I? Who am I? What am i doing here? Am i simply wasting my life?"

As a child, I had all these dreams and hope for what I would be in life... A doctor, a teacher, and I also always knew that one day I would be a mother.

However, I became a mother just after my 19th birthday. Shortly after that I was married. This marriage eventually ended after I had yet another child. Anyone who knows my family, knows that my second child has Down Syndrome and many medical concerns. This has required me to learn a lot to be able to properly care for her. My faith in God carried me through that pregnancy as well as many sleepless nights dealing with medical concerns from tube feeding to heart defects. Anyway, i went on to have another child and another failed marriage. And another child, a marriage that is on rocky terms, a couple of step children, and I am pregnant again (with what will be my first boy). That brings us to today... Nearly 11 years since I became "just a mom".

After thinking about being "just a mom", it could be argued that there is no such thing as JUST a mom... A mom is a nurturer, a nurse, a short order cook, a taxi driver, a janitor, a laundry attendant, a personal assistant, and so much more... A mom can mold herself into a thousand different "titles".

But there is more to it than that. I want my children to see me as a strong and confident woman who has her life "together", whatever that means. Whose life is really together anyway?

So this brings us to the question, what does God say about WHO we are...WHAT we are?

Just skimming through Ephesians 1, the key words that stand out to me are chosen, redeemed, and forgiven.

Chosen is defined in the dictionary as "having been selected as the best or most appropriate."

Redeemed is defined in the dictionary as "to be compensated for the faults or bad aspects of"

Forgiven is defined as  "to grant pardon or remission of a debt or offense"

Anyway, i began writing this and then had to stop as I had to attend to my children. One child just happened to turn on the radio and a Matthew West song was on;

"Hello, my name is regret
I’m pretty sure we have met
Every single day of your life
I’m the whisper inside
That won’t let you forget
Hello, my name is defeat
I know you recognize me
Just when you think you can win
I’ll drag you right back down again
‘Til you’ve lost all belief
Oh, these are the voices. Oh, these are the lies
And I have believed them for the very last time
Hello, my name is child of the one true King
I’ve been saved, I’ve been changed, I have been set free
"Amazing Grace" is the song I sing
Hello, my name is child of the one true King"

So... I will just end this right here... I am a MOM. I believe this is what God wants me to be at this time in my life and he is still showing me how to do that right. I believe he wants me to know that I am important, i am needed, i am loved, and i am exactly where I am supposed to be at this time. 
The world wants us to think we are not good enough, that we are not doing enough, that we should be more and be better.

God says we are exactly who he made us to be. This is what I want my children to know about me and about themselves.

Do not let the world define you. Do not let the world determine your self worth. Do not let the world determine what or who you are.